Life of the Comfortably Uncomfortable
By Mahogany Flower
Before Covid had a distributed vaccine and we were able to see the inside of restaurants returning to simple pleasures was seemingly a fool’s dream. What could be a better time to explore a long-seeded curiosity. While many baked bread or became plant parents the rebel in me had to take it a step further. But how? In July, during my daily social media scroll I got my answer. Any event you attend nowadays comes with the risk of catching the modern-day plague so in true extremist fashion I choose to attend my first sex party: the prolific Mistress Marley’s Black and Kinky play party to be exact.
Living within a space of sexual positivity and exploration safety is of vital importance. Under regular circumstances I would ask a potential lover when they’ve last been tested followed by a mutual exchange of results; to get a better understanding of safety for themselves as well as their partner. Legally play parties can't ask participants to provide their health history ( Sti,HIV covid status), I figured suggesting a group chat to the curator may be a clever loophole to put my mind at ease and not give up all control. Once my chosen prospects had been selected and vetted the verbal wooing could begin.
The chat started off innocent with basic familiars (A/S/L for my former aim chatroom peeps) then quickly evolved into a den of nudes, sex tapes, and meme. The women and femmes freely offered views of their temples to the collective. After a brief protest the men followed suit. The first signs of toxic masculine energy came shortly after the first dick pic. It was made clear “if you're uncomfortable seeing a dick this is not the place for you”. Who knew a dick would make for a showcase of chivalry? Leading up to the party, a slew of questions and insecurities began to emerge. As a first-time patron I was most nervous about where I fell amongst the ranks of sexual hierarchy. To keep it funky I didn’t want to be the “fat girl” that was passed over for the model chick over and over again. I needed to get in the headspace of being my own VIP section (very important p#$$y) if I stood a chance at relaxing in order to enjoy myself.
After being invited and joining a group of fellow party goers at a nearby hotel we made our way to the venue. To put it simply, the quote unquote “white people shit” has found a new home amongst the melanated. I'm fully aware that BDSM has had its place in the black community for a time now. Moving into the age of Instagram it is now tip toeing from out behind the shadows into the sunlight. Now the question is how to efficiently perform fellatio around a mask? If you wanna know the answer look for my follow up article and listen to the Comfortably Uncomfortable pod. Stay curious!